- Key Takeaways
- Rethinking What Success Really Means
- How Culture Shapes Your Definition of Success
- Balancing Success and Happiness in Career Choices
- Overcoming the Fear of Uncertainty
- Decisiveness at Career Crossroads
- Embracing Imperfection and Authenticity
- Aligning Success With Your Values
- Integrating Happiness Into Long-Term Career Strategy
- Further Guidance & Tools
- Next Steps
- Final Words
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Last updated: November 24, 2025
Key Takeaways
- Redefine success: True success blends external achievement with inner fulfillment, so your career goals should reflect both practical needs and genuine happiness.
- Challenge norms: Cultural expectations often push you toward status and income; examining those assumptions helps you design a career aligned with your real values.
- Embrace uncertainty: Choosing happiness sometimes means accepting risk, yet thoughtful, values-based decisions usually create more sustainable satisfaction than fear-driven career choices.
- Decide intentionally: Indecision keeps you stuck; consciously choosing a direction, even imperfectly, opens doors to growth, learning, and new professional possibilities.
- Honor authenticity: Letting go of perfectionism and embracing your “flawesome” self allows you to pursue work that fits who you are, not who you “should” be.
Rethinking What Success Really Means
Many professionals chase a version of success defined by
Kristina Mand-Lakhiani’s book Becoming Flawesome challenges rigid definitions of success and invites you to question whose standards you are really living by. Instead of measuring your worth solely by promotions or income, she encourages you to ask whether your choices support authenticity, joy, and meaningful contribution. That shift lays the groundwork for more honest and satisfying career decisions.
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How Culture Shapes Your Definition of Success
Success is not a fixed concept; it varies widely across cultures and communities. In many Western, capitalistic societies, financial achievement and visible status often dominate the conversation, making it easy to equate net worth with self-worth. This emphasis can quietly pressure you to pursue roles that look impressive on paper, leaving you feeling disconnected from your
Recognizing this cultural bias allows you to separate what you truly want from what you think you are supposed to like. You can start by examining how you talk about success with peers and family, and by noticing which goals energize you and which drain you. Resources like understanding of success in a broader career context can help you see beyond credentials and job titles.
Balancing Success and Happiness in Career Choices
Almost everyone eventually faces a crossroads where traditional success and personal happiness seem to pull in different directions. It might look like choosing between a stable corporate role and a more creative but uncertain path, or between rapid advancement and time for family or health. In these moments, it is tempting to default to whichever option appears safer or more socially approved.
Yet the choices you make at these crossroads shape not only
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Overcoming the Fear of Uncertainty
Fear of the unknown frequently keeps people in roles that no longer fit. We often assume that if we follow the “successful” path long enough, happiness will eventually catch up, even when daily life suggests otherwise. Research in positive psychology increasingly supports the opposite idea: happiness, meaning, and psychological safety form the foundation for sustainable success.
Embracing uncertainty does not mean acting impulsively or ignoring financial realities. Instead, it means acknowledging that no
Decisiveness at Career Crossroads
Indecision can feel safer than action, especially when you worry about making the “wrong” move. But avoiding a decision is still a decision: it keeps you on your current trajectory, whether or not it serves you. Over time, this can lead to resentment, regret, or a sense of having drifted into a life you never consciously chose.
Decisiveness does not require perfect clarity; it simply requires choosing the next right step based on the information you have now. That might mean trying a new role, setting boundaries at work, or committing to exploring a passion seriously. Once you decide, you free up energy that was previously consumed by rumination and open yourself to opportunities that only appear after you move.
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Embracing Imperfection and Authenticity
Many professionals equate success with perfection, constantly polishing their image and smoothing over flaws. The problem is that perfection is not only unattainable but also exhausting and ultimately incompatible with authenticity. In contrast, the concept of “flawesome” encourages you to recognize both
Kristina Mand-Lakhiani’s work on Becoming Flawesome argues that embracing your imperfections can actually make you more effective and resilient. When you stop performing a narrow version of “professionalism” and start showing up as your authentic self, you are more likely to seek roles, teams, and environments that genuinely fit you.
Aligning Success With Your Values
Redefining success is not just a mindset shift; it is a practical exercise in values clarification. When you know which principles matter most—such as autonomy, creativity, impact, community, or stability—you can evaluate opportunities based on how well they support those priorities. This values-based approach helps you navigate trade-offs without feeling like you are abandoning yourself for a paycheck.
As you consider future roles or promotions, ask how each option aligns with your core values and how it might affect your health, relationships, and sense of purpose. Tools like reflection journals, coaching conversations, or guided assessments can uncover patterns you may have overlooked. Over time, aligning decisions with values tends to create careers that feel coherent rather than fragmented.
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Integrating Happiness Into Long-Term Career Strategy
Happiness is not a frivolous add-on to an otherwise serious career; it is a key factor in performance, creativity, and resilience. Professionals who feel engaged and authentic at work typically recover faster from setbacks and contribute more sustainably over time. When you treat happiness as a strategic component of your career, you naturally start designing work that supports, rather than undermines, your overall life.
The journey toward this kind of integrated success is rarely linear. You may experiment with different roles, industries, or work arrangements before finding the right fit. Along the way, accepting your “flawesome” self—imperfect, evolving, and fully human—makes it easier to adjust course without shame.
Further Guidance & Tools
- Values Clarity: Use CareerOneStop’s work values assessment to identify what truly matters to you when evaluating career directions.
- Happiness Science: Read PositivePsychology.com’s overview of happiness to understand how well-being and meaning support long-term success.
- Authenticity Insight: Explore Harvard Business Review’s guidance on bringing your authentic self to work without compromising professionalism.
- Career Decisions: Review Penn Career Services’ advice on making career choices grounded in your core values.
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Next Steps
- Write your current definition of success, then rewrite it to include emotional well-being, relationships, and personal growth alongside financial and career milestones.
- List your top five values and rank how well your current role supports each one, noting specific gaps you might address through changes or conversations.
- Identify one small, low-risk experiment that moves your career closer to your authentic interests, such as a side project, course, or new responsibility.
- Schedule quiet time to reflect on a recent career decision, asking whether fear, habit, or genuine alignment with your values drove your choice.
- Choose one perfectionist expectation you place on yourself at work and intentionally replace it with a kinder, more realistic standard for the next month.
Final Words
Redefining success is not about rejecting achievement; it is about integrating achievement with authenticity, happiness, and meaning. When you question cultural expectations, clarify your values, and accept your “flawesome” self, your career choices become more intentional and sustainable. Over time, that alignment turns work from a performance into a deeply personal expression of who you are becoming.
Overcome perfectionism and self-doubt by unapologetically embracing your fully awesome self—flaws and all—with the co-founder of Mindvalley, a global school that delivers transformational education for all ages.
Mark Fiebert is a former finance executive who hired and managed dozens of professionals during his 30-plus-year career. He now shares expert job search, resume, and career advice on CareerAlley.com.
